Warning: The next paragraphs you read may contain information about video games that will bring joy to you and others. This content will effect your brain making you excited while you are reading this.
Video games do not have to be violent to be successful. Because there are lots of different video game that have been successful and non violent. For Example: the game Fifa street 3. This is a soccer game with style so you can do different moves while you play and sometimes just ordinary styled soccer is getting boring like in this you can jump off the wall with the ball you also get breakers. When you get it you can do a shot that will have a chance of 70% to score than a regular that is 50%.
Sometimes when you play video games at first it feels like your eyes start to hurt because you have been looking at the t.v. to long. Another one is that when ever you look somewhere else its a different color. These might have happend to you before if you just started out playing video games.
I have played violent video games before and if you play them you have to get used to them. If you do not like the game and in some games they mostly contain fighting, swering and shooting this may be uncomfortable for you but i don`t play every day. Only on weekends sometimes on weekdays if i want to but its not good for your brain every day.
what two things are good about this essay?
ReplyDeletewell the things about this is that the intro is good and it catches your attention and that in some of the info. it explains if you don't play video games or violent video game that it can in influence you to do something like: rob a house or hijack someones car.
what are 2 things i need 2 work on?
well the 2 things i need to work on is i have to explain more about the paragraphs and talk about it probably saying that: you should tell more about the subject you are on.
GOOD THINGS:
ReplyDelete-opinion was clear
-correct speeling and grammar
NEED TO WORK ON:
-talk more about what you think
-dont use 'i' (it's ok me to)
You really did a cool job of catching my attention with that opening line, it really got me exited early on, but you do need to remember that the intro says what you will be talking about. I like the fact that you had the soccer example but you need the source in a works cited. And lastly it seemed like you were going to come out with a strong arguement but it kinda faded into your experience with them and what they are.
ReplyDelete